Hapless Euro-Models Stuck in the Mud – Broken English Remains Intact

Images of damsels in distress have been around since the Stone Age. The proverbial picture of the caveman dragging a wrangled woman back to his burrow (conscious or otherwise from a blow to the head with a club) is a visual that’s become more fun than fact the further away we get from the walls of the cave. In truth, the princess in peril has been so ingrained in our cultural collective that people forget how true it really was and often still is.

I’m not going to play pretty pony and pretend that I’m not a rabid fan of old pulp covers, mid-century pin-up art, horror movie media and all things devoid of political/sexual correctness (as you may well have guessed). I guess there’s something that intrigues the monkey man in most males when it comes to distressed dames – tied to the railway tracks with oncoming choo-choo coming ‘round the mountain. It’s almost pre-programmed into our genetic code – hard wired into our DNA by way of pop cultural osmosis…

Having said that, I still had to ponder the point of Car Stuck Girls.

If the thought of long-legged Euro-models getting their vehicles repeatedly stuck in mud, snow or sand winds your carnal coo-coo clock or more appropriately “gets your motor running”, the Webbie award winning Car Stuck Girls is the place to tune up. Road less traveled and stick shift jokes aside, this rather unique pit stop features photos/screenshots and generous preview videos of eternally anguished German gals pounding the pedals, pushing, pulling and pouting (even the occasional mud wrestling as our dames let frustration get the better of them – those naughty Germans). Oh no! Alena’s front-wheel drive Skoda Fabia is stuck in the snow! What’s a girl to do? Liberal shots of stranded model high heeling helplessly on the gas soon follow as does jaw dropping “dialogue” delivery like “O Mah Gahd! Whuts ‘Append?” and the immortal “I seems to be really horrible stuck!” – I was addicted.

At first I wasn’t quite sure what to make of the whole thing (sister sites Driving Girls and Pedal Pumping Girls contain more of the same) and yet I was weirdly disappointed when I had all but exhausted the complimentary buffet. Not to worry, you can purchase the full length feature on DVD! If you absolutely must know if Melanie’s Mercedes will ever get unstuck after the preview ends, you can expect to cough up 49,00EUR (approx $70 CDN/$60US as of publish date) for a one hour double feature (not to spoil the ending, but Melanie appears in a few other sequences so I assume she didn’t die along the road side and subsequently ground into Bratwurst – sorry). Personally, I had a good time watching the movies since they were far better produced than you would rightly expect and though the sites are conceivably fetishistic in nature, there’s not a shred of nudity or overtly explicit content on any of them. It might be hard to believe that there’s a surprisingly active community around the act of Pedal Pumping itself so just as car enthusiasts might get a charge out of watching the ladies try to winch their car out of the muck, foot fans may enjoy the constant tight shots of tense toes letting out the clutch. I guess what you bring to it is what you take away, Clichéd, I know, but I’m a self professed leg fan to a flaw, so well dressed dames dangling their pins out from a car door gave me lots to beam about from an unlikely source.

As odd as you might find the vehiclely-challenged German gals, they’re exceedingly common compared to what the Japanese have been up to, but more on that later.

iPod played “The Violent Femmes – Gimme The Car” while posting