Premier Ralph Klein's Evil Agenda Exposed by Uncharacteristic Insight from Office Worker

My “Work-Steve” (I know so many Steve’s that I have to separate them by general association to avoid confusion) was leafing through the local newspaper at his desk this past Wednesday when he suddenly paused with a laugh. “What’s up?” I inquired. He replied by holding up the paper and snickered:

“Doesn’t Ralph look a little like “the Penguin” from Batman Returns?”

I immediately saw the connection.

Known to some as “King Ralph” (not to be confused with the John Goodman “comedy” of the same name- though perhaps equally devoid of worth), Ralph Phillip Klein, in human form, was the colorful mayor of Calgary, Alberta Canada from 1980-89, became Premier of the province in 1992 and continues his reign of terror to this day. Born in 1942, the portly politician, admitted alcoholic and eternally quotable super villain has a flair for all things that Batman would surely object to. After a few too many wobbly pops one night, the “King” verbally abused homeless people at an Edmonton shelter, offering to buy some of them bus tickets to British Columbia to essentially run them out of the province. Other hilarious but inappropriate outbursts include the Mad Cow suggestion that ranchers should’ve “shot, shovelled and shut up” to side step the entire BSE scenario and the infinitely amusing “Edmonton (Alberta’s capital city) isn't really the end of the world -- although you can see it from there".

Appearing for the first time in Detective Comics #58, 1941 (Klein was born one year later, perchance conceived as a result of the publication), the Penguin’s physical similarities with Klein are less obvious as an illustration, but other highlights do exist. In print, the Penguin is a criminal mastermind who operates beyond the reach of the law, dabbles in many illegal endeavors and is a heartless power-broker/outlaw – the living embodiment of political corruption. In the 1992 Tim Burton release of the film Batman Returns, well-to-do parents place a deformed baby boy in a rickety basinet and set him adrift upon a river that carries the tiny craft into the snowy sewers of Gotham City, that boy is Oswald Cobblepot - The Penguin. The infant is raised there by homeless penguins living beneath the city streets. After a time, the freakish being plots to black mail a local politician and eventually runs for mayor himself - winning over misguided citizens with the aid of crooked Carnies and an army of tricked out penguin commandos laying siege to the city.

It’s worth noting that at no time during the film’s running time could The Penguin be heard telling his sewer dwelling brethren to “take a bus to Metropolis” nor could I find any instance of Klein recruiting militant moo-cows to leverage political power. The fact remains that our Premier not only has a more than a passing resemblance to Danny DeVito’s turn as the Penguin in the Bat-film, but the bat himself should probably kick Klein's ass before he orders his army of commando cattle to lay siege to our fair city.

iPod played "Brian Setzer - Rock This Town" while posting