Masterblogger Awards – Wordiness Is Next to Worthiness

I still can’t believe that as of July 20th, 2005 (when UrbanCannibal was born) up until my last post, Wordy Wunderkind Serena had somehow managed to write 5,567 more words than me. If you’ve been unfortunate enough to have been exposed to my viral vocabulary and long winded prose since its inception, you will have injested 26,107 (91 pages, excluding comments) of my wandering words and let them run down the inside of your cranium like cold maple syrup (pooling somewhere around your pelvis I presume). As for our beloved blog broad Serena, she’s managed to unleash 31,674 (123 full pages!) such words trumping me on every count, save one. In your face Serena, I have 27 more paragraphs than you! Booya! I did it all from the comfort of my own home (or office) and didn't have to leave North America to collect such content, it's all right here in this neurotic little noggin. Yee-Haw!

26,107 words broken down for your pleasure (or mine at least).

• 2 instances of "fuck"
• 3 instances of "beef"
• 4 instances of "thigh"
• 8 instances of "stripper"
• 12 instances of "beer"
• 12 instances of "meat"
• 14 instances of "sex"
• 10 instances of "taste"
• 10 instances of "suburban"
• 15 instances of "porn"
• 15 instances of "horror"
• 21 instances of "wood"
• 22 instances of "pig"

As an added bonus, our little Serena has typed "fuck" 9 times more than I have, just thought you'd like to know in case you ever plan on having her meet your folks, you may need to have a bar of soap handy.

Self serving cannibal indeed, now if I could only find a platter big enough to serve myself. Thanks for reading, I love my purple people eaters (even if most of you are too damn lazy to comment :)

UPDATE

What’s this? An e-mail about not commenting on posts? let’s see what it says;

"Why would you not unleash your fury? I was expecting the full guilt trip"

Okie Dokie, I just can’t let this pasture go untended;

I’ve been bemoaning about lack of reader comments around here for quite some time, a lot of people stop by to peruse my long-winded prose (I have the stats to prove it) but I can only seem to draw interaction from a small but select group of purple people eaters (and that’s more than fine with me considering their caliber), but why is this? Is it because I write too much, my viral vocabulary putting people off? I know that I can be a little verbose, but why not throw me a thigh bone just the same? I see my readers everywhere; on the escalator, blasting the urinal beside me, at the coffee trough, sitting next to me in my car – you all put forth the effort to tell me how much you enjoyed my last post or not, quoting your favorite lines back at me to prove attentiveness or demonstrating your side of the fence on whatever issue I tried to mentally massage that day - and I truly appreciate that. So why not post your comment for others to respond to and put me out of my misery? Of over 26,000 words I’ve put down, some of you can’t even pull your digits out of your nose long enough to type me a word or two.

Just to be an arsehole, I've temporarily disabled comments, what do you think of that? What? Can't hear you.

iPod played "The Beatles - Paperback Writer" while posting