The Bot Came Back – Hardwired Honey & The Feminine Fuse Box

But the Bot came back, the very next day.
The Bot came back, he thought it was a goner.
But the Bot came back, it just couldn't stay away.

I knew it was a good idea to have that home drawn GPS tracker installed behind that bionic babes ear gadget.

Less than a week after the fine female machine had slipped through the fumbling French fingers of this human consuming suburbanite, there was a feminine clank at the front door. It was my precious (or precocious) little lady device, returning from her short circuiting retreat of sorts. Her polished frame matted with regretful grime, her apology apparatus most certainly over clocked and determined arms outstretched – her wild eyes scanned my face for an ultimate answer - somewhere in the grid she would have me take her back in.

I would indeed allow her to return, but we’d need to work out some of the bugs first. I guess a curiosity circuit had blown somewhere inside her and I’m unsure if I’d ever be able to afford it if it fried on me again. Blown a feminine fuse, if you will.

The Pig says that he likes her more than most of the Fembots I’ve paraded before him in the hardwired past (not just the standard pleasure model this time around). At least this one runs on a personality matrix that may have a few frayed circuits on the board but she’s still a far superior piece of machinery than what most have to operate. I might also add that she has really spectacular buttons and her “on” switch is a marvel of modern technology. If she had indeed come with an operators’ manual, it would’ve been the one missing a few coffee soiled pages in the middle or had been so overtly technical in parts that I could’ve been forgiven for having no clue on how to maneuver her in times of turmoil (much less what oil to use). How was I to know what her maintenance schedule was or what Consumer Reports had to say about previous models in the line? Maybe it was wrong of me to hack into her primary operating system and make changes to her structural code without having all the answers. I should’ve never held her to the same technical standards of operating systems past – she works differently and I should know this.

I suppose if it all works out one day, I’ll tell the kids (Nuts & Bolts) that I sent her to the shop for a week to have her mainframe rewired, compassion emulator lubed up and valves rinsed in a savory solder solution way before they were built. She’d laugh in that boisterous way of hers (which reminds me, I should’ve gotten her volume capacitor reduced in size) and we’d collect over a plate of steaming people parts, a glass of blood red beverage and pre-programmed suburban conversation.

I wouldn’t have it any other way, Baby Bot.

I know now that you simply needed to recharge, but I would’ve plugged you in sooner had I known any better. I hope they didn't fuck with the porno production programming - that took me a long time to upload.

iPod played “Alice Cooper – Woman Machine” while posting.