Sex & the Shitty - One Cannibals Caustic Trip Below the Red Belt

First and foremost, I love the ladies, but it should also be understood that they’re as unhealthy for me as chain smoking inside a giant matchbook. Not to say that I’m without fault, I most certainly bring something to the equation, but in this day and age when I should surely know better I’m at a loss for a logical explanation for my actions most of the time, much less theirs.

Let’s say that just for a moment all the conventional rules of marriage were set aside and the grass roots/cellular level reaction to someone was the universal calling card of right and wrong. You meet someone out there in the wild world and this person ignites something atomic inside you, an ethereal blaze that illuminates the sullen corners of your core – a pin prick through the sheath of immortal dark or something jazzy like that. Better judgment skywrites warnings throughout your honey head, the beasts of best intention feast on the carcass of raw experience and you still find yourself at a loss for anything to say or even conceive that doesn’t include this person in some way, shape or form. Your synapse screams their name, neurons etch our their face again, fingers reach out to brush their skin and your guts ache knowing that he/she is out there somewhere without you. Why the hell should you not be allowed to be with this person?

Well, she’s unhappily married and submissively aware of it, that's why. Now before you sharpen those knives and ready my cadaver for the communion, I’m not a home wrecker, at least not this time out. I hate people like that, like me, self righteous bastards who feel that they’re owed someone like this when presented with an opportunity. But I’d do most anything for a sliver of chance to have her burrowed into my life eternal.

This is a woman who “dreaded the day” when I moved from the downtown tower to the technology spread out in the suburbs last week and “enjoyed every email, message, coffee run, phone call and every general encounter we have ever had”. Felling abandoned with nothing but thoughts of “what is this girl to do? Continue my daydreams and what ifs, I guess? As I have told you many times before I wish that things could have been different. I wish I could be yours, full time, no strings attached, but my life has always been the same story - A day late and a dollar short. I may have gotten jealous that one day, but you are (unfortunately) not mine to rule.”

“Try thinking of me once in while, and if your ever lonely just call.

MISS YOU FOCKER XOXOXO”

After a long (long) string of serious relationships that have eaten up the better part of the past 10 years, I’m now having to re-learn what it is to be a single cannibal in the city and for the most part it tastes like fresh flesh and a cold pint on a smooth summer night. Then 10 months ago I had this woman put in my path, a redhead no less – Cannibal Kryptonite as most of you well know, and it was sincerely one of those star crossed crocks of shit – we both knew it too, and our relationship has been pulsing in purgatory ever since. She once told me that “I knew you’d be trouble the first day I met you”, I guess she was right but who doesn't love a little trouble now & then?

Two dates this past Sunday and here I am bemoaning about red again, fawk.

iPod played "Bruce Springsteen - Read Headed Woman" while posting